Bad Mom: Didn't Do My Research

About six months ago, I became friends with one of my neighbors who has a daughter a week older than Tali. One day we were having a conversation about diapers and she told me why she uses cloth diapers. As she's explaining this to me, I am thinking to myself "this sounds like something I would do, I wonder why I never researched it." I never bought formula, I never bought a can of baby food, why am I buying disposable diapers?

I never regretted my decision until now. Thanks to Pampers, I truly wish I had done some diaper research before we had Tali. Pampers recently introduced a new line of diapers with "Dry Max" technology. Unfortunately, many claim that this new technology (which Pampers claims is thinner and more absorbent) has a nasty chemical that is giving babies an awful diaper rash. Recently, Tali had the worst diaper rash I've ever seen. It was like someone burned her - ouch! This diaper rash, which happened about two weeks ago, lasted for four days. It was so bad that she cried when she sat down in the bathtub (I had to bathe her standing up) and screamed whenever I put diaper cream on her. After the rash was over, another friend told me that some people were complaining about Pampers burning their kids and it seems like exactly what happened to Tali. But as I had just purchased a huge box of Pampers I decided to continue to use them and see if the rash came back.

This morning, when I changed Tali's diaper I noticed the burn was starting to reappear. I put diaper cream on her all day but now it's getting worse. So tonight, after I put Tali down, I went out to buy organic disposable diapers. I'm just hoping it's not too late and that the burn won't be terrible in the morning. It's probably too late in Tali's life to switch to cloth but I'm not ruling it out.

The worst part about this whole thing is that Pampers is denying that there is a problem! They claim that all of these moms are lying. I'm angry. I'm not sure I'll ever buy Pampers again.

I burned my arm on the oven last weekend and it hurt for a few hours. I can't even begin to imagine what Tali's burn must've felt like. I was telling this story to a friend this evening and she responded by saying that Pampers should be accused of child abuse. I agree. If someone knowingly burned a child, that is child abuse. I feel awful for keeping Tali in Pampers after the first burn. No more. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all of those diapers but I'll figure something out. I don't even want to donate them and risk another child getting burned. Any suggestions, let me know.

Bad Mom - Missing Milestones

I receive daily e-mails from a site called What to Expect about developmental milestones based on Tali's birthday. Sometimes she's already hit the milestone and other times it's just around the corner. But the e-mail I received the other day freaked me out:

Do you recall the proud moment when your baby first learned to clap her hands? (Chances are it was sometime around the seven-month mark.) She beamed with glee at her newfound skill, and so did you. (Finally! All those rounds of patty-cake paid off!) As with so many of her milestones, your parental pride created a virtuous cycle: She was pleased with herself and saw that you were pleased, too, so she clapped again and again. And each time you reinforced her positive feelings. So what's next for those pudgy little paws? Somewhere near the nine-month mark, she'll reward you with a wave. Keep showing and telling her how to wave bye-bye, and before too long she'll give it a whirl herself.

Wait, clapping? Tali should have been clapping her hands two months ago? She's not even close! Patty-cake? We don't really play that game! Oh crap, Tali's behind and it's all because I haven't been showing her how to bake a cake as fast as she can. 

And now she's supposed to wave? I'm not even sure she gets the concept of bye-bye. How is she supposed to wave? I don't ever wave to her when I leave a room. I try to sneak out quietly while she's distracted so she doesn't cry. Now I have to tell her I'm leaving and make a scene about it? Really? I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Can't we just skip the waving? Is it really that big of a deal if she's the only kid in preschool who cannot wave and doesn't know her name?

Bad Mom - Nap Time

It's been a while since I've done a Bad Mom entry and I'm definitely past due. Today I decided to take Tali on two errands during her awake time but while at the first, I noticed she was getting sleepy. So instead of taking her to the second errand, I decided it was best to bring her home so wouldn't be cranky and she could get a good nap. Unfortunately, Tali fell asleep in the car and when we got home I had to wake her to bring her upstairs to her crib. I got her up as quickly as I could but it was too late. She was already awake and crying. I left her room quickly, hoping she'd fall back asleep. No such luck. She cried for 30 minutes and threw two pacifiers out of the crib before I went in to get her. I took her out, calmed her down and read to her then put her back in her crib. Crying again. She finally fell asleep an hour after she normally goes down for her nap. 

You may be wondering where the Bad Mom is in all of this. Well, as I was trying to figure out why she was so tired that she fell asleep in the car (we arrived home 4 minutes after her normal nap time), I realized that she woke up 30 minutes early from her morning nap. So I should have been prepared for her to be tired at 1:00 instead of 1:30 (which she was). Had I properly anticipated her needs, we could have been home at 1:00 and she would have gone to sleep without an hour of crying. Yup, I feel like an idiot.

First Time Being Sick

Well, Tali caught whatever it is I have. She was a little congested yesterday but is very congested today. She must have slept with her mouth open last night because her nose was completely clogged. I feel like such a bad mom for getting my daughter sick but there really was no way to prevent it. When H was sick a few months ago, he stayed in the bedroom the majority of the time and wore a mask when he came out. He didn't see or touch Tali until he was better. Unfortunately, I can't avoid Tali so I am not surprised that she got sick. So far, Tali's been in pretty good spirits. She was smiling and laughing yesterday and wasn't cranky this morning. 

There's not much I can do to get her better and unless she has a fever of 101 or higher, the doctor can't really do anything either. I was told to bring her in the bathroom with me when I shower so that the steam can clear out. Then, after I get out I should "milk" her nose to get some of the mucus out. So this morning I tried that. The shower worked well for her but the milking did not. She screamed (hates being touched like that, even if it doesn't hurt) and nothing came out. Since the steam is good for me as well (yes, I'm still sick), I think my bathroom will be turned into a steam room this weekend. I'll bring some toys so Tali and I can play while the steam clears us up. (Not quite the relaxing steams Karine and I did on Saturday mornings in NYC, but I'm sure it'll fun.) I am hoping that the steams and plenty of fresh air will heal us both by Monday. That way we can enjoy H's week off of work.

I Slept Through The Night!!!

Well, H's method is working, for me at least. Last night I slept through the night and woke up feeling partially human again. I have no idea how long Tali woke up for but she did have a different pacifier in her mouth this morning (there are a few in her crib) so I know she was up. It's been three nights without the monitor so I have to believe she's getting the message. I feel like a bad mom not knowing how my daughter's night was, but she's alive in the morning and I am getting some sleep so I guess it's worth it. Sometimes Daddy knows best (I'm going to regret writing that, aren't I?). 

Bad Mom - Shots

Tali got three shots today at the doctor's office. I really hate watching her get the shots - she screams bloody murder and I know she's in pain. But, I'm a bad mom and love the results of the shots. She sleeps! She usually sleeps through the night the day she gets shots. Hopefully this round of shots will be the same and I'll get more than five hours of sleep tonight. The crappy part? She doesn't get her next round of shots for another three months.

Bad Mom - Rain

This morning I was a bad mom again. We have a morning routine that consists of waking up, changing her diaper, feeding her, reading a book, getting her dressed and then taking her and Jackson for a walk. If the weather is good, I put her in the baby carrier. If the weather is bad then I put her in the stroller so she's covered. 

Today I thought I could beat the rain so I put her in the carrier. Full of confidence, I left the umbrella at home and began our walk. About 5 minutes in it began to mist so I covered Tali's head. Then a minute or two later it began to sprinkle. As soon as it began Jackson saw a friend across the street and refused to move until his friend came over to say hi. Once they'd said hello (sniff the butt, jump around, etc.) we started to move again. And then the rain started to come down. The little hood on the carrier is no match for Mother Nature so Jackson and I jogged back home (can't really run with a baby until they are six months and even then it should be in a stroller, not strapped to your chest) to avoid a complete soaking. Tali, of course, was crying because she was getting wet. Jackson didn't get to finish his walk. And I felt like an idiot for not being prepared.

Bad Mom

At least once a day I feel like a bad mom. There's always something I did (or didn't do). So in an effort to give Tali more fodder for her therapist when she's older, I am going to start a series of "Bad Mom" posts. Feel free to share your own!

Bad Mom - Toys

I regularly forget to bring toys for Tali when we go out. I can't count the number of times I've been caught in a situation where the other moms have toys for their babies and I don't. This past weekend we got together with some friends who have an 11-month old and Tali played with some of his toys. Also, I don't seem to know about/have purchased the good toys that all the other moms have. She doesn't have rings or balls yet. 

In my defense, at this age I can hold Tali's attention for much longer than a toy can. But it's time I did some toy shopping. I think I'm going to buy some "travel toys" that will just stay packed for when we go out. Then I won't look so unprepared.