Firsts

I'm starting my first themed set of entries. Whenever there is a "Tali first" I plan to blog about it. I'll let you know what she did, where she was, etc. Since this isn't starting until the second month, you are missing such wonderful firsts as the first spit-up, first pee during diaper change and first really long cry. I know, you're sad.

Now, for today's firsts:

First tears

When: This morning.

Where: In the living room - before a feeding.

Details: I was cleaning out her nose and she cried (as usual). But this time, there were actually a few tears. Until now, all of her cries have been tearless.

First good play time

When: This afternoon.

Where: In the living room.

Details: For the first time, Tali spent about 30 minutes on her playmat without me there (meaning touching or holding her). She was looking at the hanging mobiles and listening to their sounds (that was me - she cannot get them to make noise yet) and NOT crying. Until now, she'd do no more than five minutes before crying. She had a great time (I think).

Worst boss

I've decided that Tali is the worst boss I've ever had. (My boss at my magazine job comes in a very close second.)

In a job, your boss provides you with feedback (both positive and negative) on your work. With a baby, the feedback is mostly negative and indecipherable. If you need to feed her, she cries. If you need to change her, she cries. If you need to put her to sleep, she cries. If she's awake and wants attention, she cries. Once you figure out what she is crying about, she'll stop for a few minutes and then go to sleep - as if you are boring to her. 

At this stage of her life, there is no praise for a job well done. And there are no specific words used to tell you what you need to do. 

Oh, and instead of her paying you for your work, you pay for all of her needs. 

The First Month - A Recap

Since this blog is starting in Tali's second month of life, I guess I need to do a Month 1 recap. (Apologies for the length!)

Shopping Spree:

Since H and I are very superstitious when it comes to the whole baby thing, the only thing we purchased ahead of time was baby furniture. (We had picked out girl and boy furniture and the store called the doctor to get the sex of the baby and order the right pieces.) Once the baby was born, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law got to go on a huge shopping spree. Tali needed everything from clothing and diapers to a bassinet and playpen. Our furniture was delivered three days after we came home from the hospital. For the first few days, Tali's room only had a folding table. Now she's fully equipped in her "princess" room and we've now got all of the necessities.

Baby Nurse:

We were very lucky that even though Tali was 3 1/2 weeks early, both the doula and the baby nurse were available. After we got home from the hospital, we had a baby nurse come stay with us for 10 days. This was a huge help for me. I was able to get some sleep and learn from a "pro" how to care for a newborn. (I learn much better by being shown than by reading.) She also went with me to the drugstore and Buy, Buy Baby to point out all of the things that I needed to purchase. When she left, it was bittersweet. It's a little uncomfortable to have a stranger living in your home, but it's nice to have 24-hour help.

Baby Naming:

After the baby nurse left, my family came in town for Tali's baby naming (a Jewish ritual for baby girls, but unlike the ritual for boys, nothing gets chopped off). Since we were having it in our apartment, only immediate family was invited. The rabbi who married us was available at that time and said he would do the naming. Unfortunately, the day before the naming there was a big snow storm and the rabbi had to cancel. It was a big disappointment since my family came all the way from New Orleans and Houston to be here. But they got to see and play with Tali so it wasn't a total waste. Now we have to reschedule, how annoying. The good part was that my mom stayed for another week and helped me out when H went back to work. We cooked a lot to build up a supply of frozen meals and I was able to get in some much-needed naps.

First Medical Issues:

If you know me well, you wouldn't be surprised that my daughter would have at least one medical issue in the first month. Well, she's had two.

After birth, we saw that Tali had a small hole/dent at the top of her left ear. We learned that it is a sinus cavity. While it's nothing for us to worry about at this point, it does need to be watched. It could become infected at some point in her life and possibly need to be removed. Luckily, the doctor said that this is pretty common and she's never seen anyone need the surgery.

At her first month check-up, the doctor heard a heart murmur. While she told me it was nothing to worry about, she scheduled an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist for the next day. He listened to her heart then looked at it with an ultrasound machine. I got to see all four chambers and the doctor did not find anything abnormal. He believes that she is a bit anemic (common in newborns as they cannot yet absorb iron) and that her thin blood made it sound like a murmur.

Luckily, all is okay.

Tali's Tricks:

She doesn't have many tricks yet (Jackson, our dog, had so many after we'd had him for a month!). Right now, she cries, eats, sleeps, poops, smiles and makes cooing noises. The most impressive trick is her ability to begin crying right as I am about to eat. Somehow she just knows. On the bright side, it's a great diet!

Well, that's the first month in a nutshell. The only other thing worth mentioning is that I am now used to functioning on 4 hours of sleep. It's incredible what the body can do.

The labor

On December 23, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to go to the bathroom (pregnant women pee a lot) and noticed a trickle that wasn't normal. The thought immediately occurred to me that my water broke but as it was 3 1/2 weeks early, I dismissed the thought and went back to bed. The trickle continued and I realized that I was, in fact, going to have a baby soon. I laid in bed trying to process everything and let H sleep until his alarm went off. Here was the conversation we had when H woke up:

Me: Well, you are going to get your tax deduction.

H: Huh? (to be fair, he did just wake up)

Me: You're going to get your tax deduction.

H: Why?

Me: My water broke.

H: Really? When?

Me: Yes. An hour and a half ago.

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but my next step was to call our doula (she was amazing - worth every penny!) and describe what was happening. Next, we called the doctor who was on her way home from the hospital. Her reaction was pure excitement. Not for us, really, for herself. She was so excited that she would no longer have to keep the secret about the baby's sex. She said this is the longest she's ever kept a secret in her life. (As a refresher, her husband and H work together and are good friends. So she knew us on a more personal level and had to keep this a secret from her husband and us.) Since contractions had not yet begun, she told us to just hang out a while and keep her posted.

H booked a hotel room in Manhattan (we didn't want to drive in to the city while I was far into labor) and we packed, got the puppy ready and headed into the city in the early afternoon. By 9:00 that evening, my contractions had not begun so I was asked to check in to the hospital so the doctor could start them for me. (It is considered dangerous for the baby to be inside the womb more than 24 hours after the water broke.) My hope of laboring outside of the hospital was gone - on to plan B.

At the hospital I requested intermittent monitoring and no drugs (yes, I wanted to have my baby without painkillers). Because of this, I was given a Hep-Lock and pricked three times before it was put in correctly. Since they did need to start contractions, I was given cervidil which opens the cervix and hopefully starts contractions. This was inserted at midnight and contractions began the next morning.

Throughout the day I walked the halls and labored on a birthing ball. We kept the mood in the room very mellow by turning the lights down, playing relaxing music (Barefoot Truth, Jack Johnson, etc.) and maintaining calm voices. H was amazing and very supportive the entire time. The doula's skills and knowledge were indispensable. Unfortunately, I had back labor (the most painful kind of labor) the entire time.

Around 5:00 p.m. on December 24, I was told that I was still only dilated 4 or 5 centimeters and needed pitocin. So I was given the pitocin and the contractions got so bad that I couldn't handle it anymore. My doctor said that it would be at least another 5 or 6 hours before the baby came and "We're little Jewish women, we're not made to do this without pain medication. That's for those 18-year-old Latin women with big hips." So I got the epidural (another few pricks for them to get it right - my contractions were so close together that they didn't have much time) and settled in to relax.

Relaxation never happened as the pitocin made my whole body shake and I could still feel each contraction. An hour and a half later, I was fully dilated and ready to push. A quick 30 minutes later and a beautiful baby girl was born! Since she was so tiny (4 lbs. 14 ounces), she came out very fast and with perfect skin. No bruises, dents, etc. And I only had 1/2 a stitch.

Tali looks a lot like me when I was a baby. My parents compared pictures and it's pretty incredible to see.

Looking back, I'm not angry or upset that I had the epidural. I think it was the right decision and helped my labor progress. And, since it takes six hours for those drugs to get into the baby's system, Tali was born drug-free. At our follow-up meeting with the doula, she said that I'll probably be able to have a drug-free birth next time. But for now, I'll just focus on this baby.

Welcome to my blog (again!)

Hello family and friends,

Welcome to my new blog. I enjoyed writing (and think you enjoyed reading) about Baby D so much that I have decided to continue to update you on my life and Baby D's adventures. 

As you know by now, Baby D is a baby girl and her name is Talia - Tali for short.  Tali was born on December 24, 2008 at 7:59 p.m.  She weighed 4 lbs. 14 oz. and was 3 1/2 weeks premature. Yes, H got his wish - a nice tax deduction for 2008. And I experienced a very long labor (more on that in my next entry) with the perfect prize at the end. 

Like my previous blog, I hope to write in it at least once a week. I promise to do my best to make it interesting and somewhat funny.  And this time, feel free to post comments or ask questions (my last blog only got one comment - from some woman who was upset about my elimination communication post). I'd love to read and respond to them!

So, enjoy the blog. :)